Had drinks with KM and CLC tonight. Much was discussed including my newfound realization that business school may not be for me. I’ve come to admit to myself relatively recently that my going to business school would simply be me falling into the same pattern that brought me to law school.
I went to law school straight out of college because I had always wanted to be a lawyer (at least I though I did), to give my parents peace of mind (it was between teaching and law school, and they pushed law school), and because I didn’t know what else to do. And really, it was that last one that terrified me. At the end of the day, it’s no harm no foul. I went to law school so early (at 21) that even after a 7 year career, I’m still young enough to regroup and commit myself to something else.
But the reality is that I’m not 21. I’m 31. And I don’t think I have the luxury of accumulating debt without an honest purpose.
And so that option is now on the backburner. I’m not sure what I’ll do now. Maybe I’ll teach high school like I always wanted. Maybe I’ll fuck around for a year. Maybe I’ll go to business school eventually. But I’m not clear enough in my head right now to make that type of commitment. If I’m going to fuck around and try and clear my head, it’s probably better not to rack up $150k in debt with no guarantee that I’m going to come out on the right side of things.
Leave it to KM to distill the issue down in a perfect quote. To paraphrase the conversation:
Me: I mean, business school would give me a lot of options. But I’m too old to have options. I don’t want a bunch of options. I’m just not sure business school is going to get me where I want. I don’t want a buffet.
CLC: Buffets can be good, though.
KM: Yes, buffets can be good. Unless you hate Sizzler.
Bingo. And zing!